The 7 Signs to Watch Out For Part Two

Here's the continuation of my previous blog.

These are the other three signs that you should be watching out.

You're Parents, Not Partners
'If you have focused so much on being a family and raising your kids, and let your couple relationship go, you may find that you've lost your couple connection completely,' warns Tessina. 'This is why so many couples break up as soon as the kids are grown (or even before). Your man-and-wife relationship is vital -- it's the foundation your family is built on.' Tessina advises that you and your spouse not get so into your role as parents that you forget to be partners. Yes, your children are important, but so are your love and your relationship as a couple. It's not just about the kids.

Complete Withdrawal
'When either spouse withdraws emotionally from the relationship for an extended period of time, this means that the person no longer wants to put in the effort,' Ward points out. That might be hard to hear, couples, but pulling back because you are hurt is very different then removing yourself from the relationship while you are still in it -- those are two totally different things. 'If a spouse stops giving affection, refuses to communicate or does not spend time at home for long periods of time, this usually indicates they have emotionally left the relationship,' Ward explains. To fix matters, you can verbalize your concerns or write a note telling your spouse you need to speak with him. 'When you do meet, tell him you have noticed his disappearance, how it makes you feel and ask him what's going on,' she advises. 'It may feel awkward and rusty to connect again, but if you want your relationship back on track, let it be awkward without judging it.

Unwillingness to Resolve Conflict
If one of you refuses to try and work out conflicts or problems, you are in a dead-end relationship,' says Ward. 'There is a difference between not knowing how to resolve arguments and the refusal to do so. If one spouse or both are unwilling to negotiate, stop arguing or go to a therapist to heal the relationship, then the relationship has no where to go except towards divorce.' You and your spouse have to be willing to try and save the relationship in order for it to survive, say relationship experts. If you and your spouse are both willing, it's a good idea to find time when you are not fighting to communicate and share your concerns. 'Tell your spouse that you don't know how to fix things between you and you are feeling stuck,' Ward suggests. 'Ask him if he has any thoughts on how to make things better and then discuss one thing you are willing to try that week to rebuild trust. If you still can't agree, tell your spouse you feel you both need professional support and guidance and then find a couples therapist.' Hopefully, he'll want to give that a shot.